Green Smoke Rising
First week of three treatments went physically well.
No fellable side effects. 20 July 1997. Start was the 16th.
During the 6 beam exposures which lasts about 6-8 seconds each, one thinks too much. I'll work on that.
Mental things are worse than physical so far.
I talked to Dr. H about the beam size which is about 6-8 inches wide and
4-5 deep in the groin area with a height of about 6 "(see plots). He said he wasn't trying to replicate a prostatectomy. That with the beam he had more latitude to cover broader alternatives. He seemed to be tired of either his day or my questions. It must get old after treating several thousand patients who all doubt your judgment. I tried to tell him that I was new to this and was not doubting so much as trying to internalize.
Still feel pretty happy to be alive and sentimental whenever nice things/feelings are happening like this Saturday afternoon after counseling a friend on child birth and the late sun streaming into the living room after they were gone, Jane on the floor. A flood of wellbeing washing over me.
This will be the first 5 days of radiation week.
18 days
The 17th day I started feeling as if my pelvis was attached to my upper body by a slinky. It (my lower half) no longer wanted to get out of the car when I got out. My head would move out, my arms, but my bottom wanted to stay. This is what the ailing pelvic region is saying. Don't move, don't go in there for any more of this.
On the 18th day I felt a great lethargy descending on me. After some significant rest I feel more normal now. This is only half way!